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The Unloved

My thoughts are angry with me
threatening to devastate my health like earthquakes.
Their uncontrollable storm keeps my dreams shattered
and my silence in sleepless pestilence.

My body has been emaciated to the highest degree.
With difficulty in breathing, profuse tears, a bleeding heart
and with aches and pains, I live.
I can hardly see or hear, bear with me please.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on having no thoughts,
surely, I'd have gone mad if I’d ignored to do so.
But at the instant I slept off, I woke again.
That little moment sent me through a black nightmare.

My unhappiness made me ill,
causing my heart to grieve at my damaged blood vessels.
I'm living as if I'm dying,
hoping on hope that I knew will never come.

I'm languishing for a lifetime.
My trembling body always distressed,
with no love or care.
My eyes are weary with lack of single sleep and any rest.

Is it good to live when it's better to be dead?
I'm sick to death of living.
I'm sick at heart to know really I'm still breathing.
Hopelessness, helplessness, and loneliness are the order of my day.

Heartsick and heartbreak are written all over my face in volumes.
If you stare into my eyes affectionately,
you would run from what lies within it.
Because the fear that lives there can suck you in anguish pangs.

If there's something that I did without knowing,
it is the prayers that my bones recited,
with tears as "Amen",
I prayed but was profoundly appalled.

I chafed before my fretting comforters,
who were busy sending sadness and regrets upon my poor soul.
I hardly can speak,
for the words have been squeezed out of my tongue.

I can only manage to sleep in a coma.
My brains have no energy and vigour.
I've been forsaken, rejected, and neglected.
I have nothing and despair as neighbours.

I tried to love God and you,
but because of you I fell in love with sorrow.
Why have you turned soulless and soul-destroying?
Why have your compassion denied me of your friendship?

Is it because that I trusted you,
that you gave me a noxious and toxic wine to drink?
Oh, you've poisoned my understanding and senses;
you've succeeded in ripping off my heart.

Remembering that I've not yet given up the ghost
strikes terror into my heart,
that thought alone makes me human, reprieved
but nobody showed they cared.

Burn me up with your love.
I'm freezing like a lively block of ice.
I'm hungry, thirsty, and homeless.
I lack love!

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Copyright © 2010, OKPARA OKECHUKWU D.